The Ranger and Poacher
The river has a two trout bag limit and a fisherman is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks, “Any luck?”
“Any luck? Heck yes, this is a wonderful spot. I took six out of this river yesterday” he boasts.
“Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?” asks the stranger.
“Well, meet the new honorary trout fishery ranger.”
“Oh,” gulped the fisherman…
“Well, do you know who I am?”
“Nope,” said the ranger.
“Meet the biggest fishing liar in the district.”
The Three Wishes
Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: “double my I.Q” so the mermaid did it and to his surprise, he started reciting Shakespeare.
Then the second fisherman said: “triple my I.Q.” and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed.
The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!”
The fisherman said “yes” so the mermaid turned him into a woman.
Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms.
Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask ” How did you catch those ?”
“Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon. A great days fishing!”
So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try. They go to the nearest bridge and Sean calls to his friend “Hold my legs now Paddy”.
Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. “Pull me up, pull me up!!”
Paddy asks ” do you have a fish Sean?”…………
“No!” shouts Sean, “There’s a bloody train coming!”